Chapter 4: Lingering fears

I woke up at noon, but truthfully I don’t want to wake up. 
            Reason being I was embarrassed, even though I’m a child but in mind I'm not, so I tried acting like a child but without being treated like a child.

            This is going nowhere.

            When my mother noticed I was awake, I was on the verge of suffocating from her hug. 
            Relax oh my doting mother!
             I don’t want to die from your excessive worry. Since I faint, I don’t have the right to say she shouldn't worry. She also told me that after last night fire—said the probable cause to be a malfunction on the electric stove—I had a weird seizure that kept me in daze without responding to anybody then fainted. My mother tried to take me to the doctor in hurry but my sister told her because I was seeing a large fire for the first time and fell in shock because of that, so she told her she should wait for me to wake up first to see how I'm doing.

            Since she's prone to worrying, I felt bad making her worry so much. She told me to rest at ease and went back out, probably making lunch since I skip breakfast. Once I was left alone, I tried reflecting my action last night.

            Even though I am aware of my fear of fire, I never realized how such a small scale could even flip my mind. This is bad; I don’t want to live my life afraid for every little fire. Besides, it would even raise suspicion as to why I’d be that afraid.

            So as usual, I woke up at midnight and sneak in to father’s reading room and took out a book about psychology and phobias (I’m so glad my farther loves to read). With the table light on, I studied intently without noticing the clock had showed it was 2 A.M (good kids, especially under 12 should not stay up late). I conclude my study to these points*:

            Fear of fire or pyrophobia  is one of common phobia in this world. Phobia itself doesn't always turn out to be problem, but on a excessive part could cause the disability to live a normal life. To a Pyrophobic individual, the mere smell of smoke or something burning can trigger an intense anxiety attack. This causes him/her to constantly to check the stove/gas leading to obsessive compulsive personality disorders. Ugh, just thinking I might have a personality disorder is nauseating.

            The common physical psychological symptoms are:

·        Dry mouth, difficulty in swallowing, trembling, palpitations and shaking in the vicinity of fires.

·        Some individuals cannot even stand small fires like birthday candles, fireworks etc.

·        Thoughts of death or dying, feeling like choking.

·        Going to abnormal lengths to prevent dangers from fires: Checking and rechecking several times a day to ensure the gas/stove is off,  keeping an escape route ready in event fire does occur or spending huge amounts of money on fire extinguishers, smoke alarms etc are some examples of such behavior.

·        Those with extreme levels of Pyrophobia experience a full blown panic attack at the sight, smell, or thought of fire: running away, fainting, screaming, feeling nauseated etc.

      I’ve recently discover my phobia, and I found three points I experienced. How scary accurate this book is. Now the section about overcoming and treating Pyrophobia tells me that the first step in treating fear of fire phobia is to diagnose it. Often, the phobic is able to assess if his/her symptoms are affecting the normal ability to function. If this is the case, s/he should not hesitate in approaching a primary health care provider to discuss further treatment. When the phobia symptoms are extreme, medication must be taken to counter the anxiety symptoms.

     Additionally, one must also utilize a few self help techniques to overcome the fear of fires phobia. Gradual desensitization or exposure therapy can be done with the help of family and friends or even a professional therapist. This involves looking at pictures of fires, thinking of fire and gradually progressing to being in the presence of small or controlled fire. An exposure of this sort can help the Pyrophobic control the anxiety response to fires.

The purpose of all these therapies is to get to the root cause of one’s Pyrophobia in order to help the individual regain confidence and etch out negative memories once and for all.

            Hmmm~ as much as I want to cure my pyrophobia, going to health center might be problematic seeing the root of my fear is from the death of my past life, so seeking help from outsiders is a no go. I closed the book and heaved a heavy sighed.

            For now, I noted how I should overcome my fear for me to try when I have the time and silently went back to my parent’s room. 

*Note: the following reference was found in http://www.fearof.net/fear-of-fire-phobia-pyrophobia/

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