Chapter 64: A Mother's Concern

 "Agh, why do they have to make a limiter, I can't play with my ability however I want."

           "Which is the exact reason why they put on limiter for kids like you Beth, you should try refraining from using your ability for every single thing."

            On a rare night the whole family was watching a movie together. Beth was complaining at the new regulation set for espers. I was agreeing with Beth in this case, but for a different reason.  I was paying more attention to the movie than to them. I wanted to occupy my mind and shove away the disgraceful memory of this afternoon but truthfully, I couldn't stop focusing on it.

           Somehow, I had mostly cried in situations concerning Rick all the time, but today was just embarrassing. Is it because I'm in a child's body that I'm this emotional? I should have been more understanding. Surely he has things he doesn't want to talk about, since I have things I don’t want to talk about too. Still, he shouldn't have said it in such an awful way. Yes, that's right, it's his faults, and he should have talked in a different tone. No wonder that jerk barely has any friends.

            "Claudia, is something wrong? You making an unpleasant face and your eyebrows look scrunched together." Mother gently turned my face toward her, looking at my complexion. Thinking I made her worried, I smiled at her and replied with my normal tone, "Nothing really, I'm thinking of something but it's not really important so I'm fine."

            Then oddly, for a flash of a moment, mother made a sad look on her face. She caressed my hair with the smile she always had, making me think I was mistaken.

#

When the movie night was over, I went back to my room. I had planned to quickly hit my bed and go off to dreamland. When I opened the door of my room, I saw my sister, Karen, looking through my textbooks as she sat on my bed. It was quite a shock for me since it never occurred to me, why Karen would ever come to my room for hardly any reason.

            I wanted to call out to her but I felt a lump stuck in my throat. I don't know why she's here, but I'm 90% sure she has nothing good to say to me, the thought made me hesitant to call her out. The room was silent for about 3 minutes with me gawking and looking left and right at my own room while Karen kept on reading.

            I couldn't stand the atmosphere so I took a leap by breaking the ice first. "Uhm..."

            "You are either ignorant, clueless, or a complete idiot. I vote for all three."

            I wanted to talk first but Karen had beat me to it, with an outrageous claim to boot. I wanted to refute her, but when she gave me her icy glare, my whole body froze. Bullets of cold sweat crawled down my back, when I felt my heart was being grasped by her pressure, the words I tried to put out were left unsaid as if I had lost its voice, the hair throughout my body stood from the fear oozing out of me. The way she looks at me, it wasn't hatred, I know the eyes of hatred when I see them, but it was the kind of pressure and fear I have never felt before.

             "Listen, whatever happens in your life is your problem and it's got nothing to do with any of us. However, if you don't want to talk about it, at least don't make her worry."

            "Her...you mean mother?"

            "Who else? I'm pissed right now at how much you don't realise, you've hurt her. Do you think not making her worry and keeping secrets is what she wants? Not letting her know what is in her own child's mind is the worst way to make her worry, at least if you tell her, she'd know that you could still rely or seek comfort from her. That's why next time, don't push her off."

            After she finished what she had to say, she put the textbook back on to my desk. I was left in a trance after she had slapped me with her harsh, true, and unexpected words as it kept echoing in my mind still. What's more, when Karen passed me by, she left her few final words, "by the way, if anyone is causing you a problem, don't hesitant to tell me. I could be of help in many ways."

           I was taken aback at how she offered me help if I was in trouble, but I could only think that anyone getting targeted by her merciless wrath, was pitiful.

#

Even though it was almost midnight, after hearing her words. My body moved towards my mother's room without thinking. I moved back and forth between my room and hers, hesitant because of the fact that I might have actually hurt her without meaning to. I didn't tell her anything because I could make her worry, but did I just make it worse instead?

            Right now, dad is working on his project in the living room, mother should be alone in her room. "She might be asleep, if she were then I'll have to postpone this after all." I gently pushed the door open, but contrary to my thoughts, mother was still up on her bed, reading her book with her black frame glasses on.  "Claudia, is something wrong?" she quickly noticed me and even called out to me. I was about to say 'it's nothing' when I realized my own words that almost flew out. 
           The lie came out so easily and it made me realize even more so, how much I've done her wrong.

            Not wanting to speak out any more lies, I took the chance to walk into her room and crawled to her side on her bed. I snuggled closely to her as if wanting to be spoiled, but mother asked about my problems instead, reading the deep expression from my troubled eyes. I knew she was sharp, and to think I had thought she didn't suspect a thing. I am such a fool.

             Guilt began to weigh on my heart, and somehow it added weight to my words as well, making it harder for me to just talk.

            "Claudia say aaaaahhh..."

            Without thinking, I open my mouth after reacting to her words, she put something inside my mouth and then the flowing taste of soft sweetness melting inside my mouth. Despite the smoothness, there was a crunchy feeling in it that give richness to the flavour. I felt myself floated and light hearted from just that one bite.

            "This ice cream, what's its flavor?"

            "It’s caramel biscuit & cream flavour, it's my favorite flavor, the flavour is not particularly popular so today I got lucky and found it on my way home."

            "I guess it's our favorite flavour now."

          "That's your 5th favorite ice cream now, how can you easily change your taste." she said giggling as she pointed out one of my quirks.

            I can't help myself. You will never understand, when I first had a taste of ice cream, it had put me in a deep trance. The sweet taste that melts in my mouth and with its unbelievable softness that I wouldn't think any food could have. It took me a few hours to convince myself, I wasn't trapped in some sort of spell. You could even say that ice cream is one of the best thing, since I reincarnated and you should know that there's no such thing as too much favorite ice cream.

           "So it seems you have something to say or am I mistaken?"

            I was then reminded of why I came here to her, though the pressure that's been weighing on me has lightened, making it easier for me to answer, as I nod at her. "I'm sorry mother"

            "Why the sudden apology?"

            "I...lied to you...a lot...I thought it was all right since I didn't want to make you worry. That’s why I...." mother gently put her arm around me and had my head lean against her chest. The soothing warmth emitting off from her, the strong beating of her heart, the soft hand patting my hair, everything about her somehow gave me comfort. It was a strange feeling, something I never felt before. It made me want to stay in her embrace forever, not wanting to let go of her as I hugged back. "I know you don't mean harm when you say it, but it does make me sad that you think I couldn't be of any help." I look up to her in hurry with eyes that protest to her words. Mother just smiled, understanding the painful expression I had. "I forgive you sweetie," she said softly, "but next time, don't think you can handle everything yourself, you are still a child yet sometimes you act strangely mature at times and childish the next. However, I ask of you that whatever problem you're facing, I'll always be there for you so don't hold it from me."

            She hugged me tightly in her arms, "I'll always love you Claudia." she finally added. I covered my face with her chest, trying so hard not to let her see the tears, I wept. Her words left me nostalgic of my own mother in my past life. I could barely remember her, yet her gentle warmth as she held me in her arms reminded so much of her. I've forgotten what it's like to have a mother, and only today did I feel the gratefulness of having a mother once more. 
            How could I have notice it now? Getting reincarnated and having past memories. My cruel life as a witch or just living ordinarily didn't matter in front of her.

            She is the woman who gave birth to me.

            She is the woman who gave me another chance in life.

            She is...my mother.

#

"I see so that's what happened"

            Somehow I couldn't hide that I was crying anymore and mother took a bunch of tissues to wipe my ugly face covered with tears and mucus. I feel embarrassed from the fact I acted like a child.

            "So this Rick friend of yours, you asked him about his sister since he never mentioned her. Once you ask why, he said there's no meaning in telling you and you became upset."

            I nodded at her summary of my story, I was partially ashamed because I'm being upset over such small thing, but it did feel better letting it all go. "I know what you're thinking, and you don't need to feel ashamed because it's perfectly normal." said mother, "especially if it's someone you trust so much."

            "But, people have things they want to hide right. I know that but it still made me...angry....and I'm not sure why I feel that way."

            "Listen Claudia, bonds and emotions are a complicated thing, it's not something you can think about rationally. You're not angry about him not telling you something personal about himself, you're just sad that he might think you're someone not worth telling to. Which is why I want to suggest that someone should teach that boy a good counsel because he certainly has no talent in choosing words, he'll have a hard time getting a girlfriend later."

            I laugh at her judgemental words which I think are very deserving for that jerk.

            "Then what should I do?"

            Mother made a questionable look as she thought up for an answer, "Talk, that's all."

            "Will that be enough?"

            "From my experience, nothing will start if you don't at least talk. None of you were actually in the wrong, you just don't what the other is feeling, both you and this Rick friend of yours. It also shows since people are different we need to learn to understand each other."

            I had no remarks or questions for her, zipping my lips while I snuggled in her arms, thinking deeply on her words of wisdom. "Mother, can I sleep here for the night?" I asked because I felt I wanted to be spoiled more but my face must have turned red then, because I felt my face hot from embarrassment. Mother calmed me down by easily agreeing with me and we slept with father for the rest of the night.

            It's not an exaggeration to say tonight, sleeping peacefully with both of my parents that love me unconditionally has become one of the best days I have had in both lives.